People do not often say that their goal for the new year is to heighten their level of consciousness. Society and even our closest friends may look at us sideways if we tell them we plan to spend the next 300 and something days of the new year working to achieve a level of consciousness where life happens through me. It sounds much more acceptable to declare that our goal for 2024 is to lose 10 lbs or double our income. The reality is that external actions do not lead to lasting contentment, but increasing our level of consciousness does. Embarking on this resolution requires us to go inward and clean up our inner environment. We can improve this year and the ones that follow by consciously evaluating our thoughts and continuously asking ourselves, ‘Am I okay?’
At first, we may reactively answer this question without much thought, saying, ‘Of course, I am okay.’ But if we dig deeper past the surface layer of our minds, we will likely discover that we are not okay. The inner landscape of our mind is a mess. We feel restless, dissatisfied, anxious, stressed, hopeless, depressed, angry, fearful, or worried. There is hurt, shame, and resentment we continue to hold onto from our past. We strive to calm our inner turmoil by doing more, consuming more, or thinking we need to be more. Or we blame our circumstances for our discontent and shake our finger at the world for all our problems. We try to control the world by making it follow our rules. We become frustrated, aggravated, or judgemental when the world fails to comply with our self-imposed demands. The very thought of sitting with ourselves in silence sounds like absolute torture. We prefer to move our fingers on a screen over learning to quiet our rampant thoughts and access inner stillness. It’s no wonder we set goals each year in hopes that they will improve our lives! We are unknowingly setting ourselves up for a miserable time if this is how we live year after year.
Many of our problems are self-created and arise because we are humans with human brains. There is nothing wrong with us for creating unnecessary suffering for ourselves. But there is a way out. Most of us are just going about it all wrong. We can become happier humans without changing our outside environment. Life does not have to be different for us to choose compassion over anger, inspiration over jealousy, determination over fear, understanding over judgment, sadness over shame, acceptance over blame, or surrender over anxiousness. We can continue to repeat the same patterns year after year by searching for the answer outside ourselves. Or we can inquire within ourselves and discover why we are not okay to help us reach new levels of consciousness and regain power over our lives.
What Would Yoga Do?
Am I okay? can be a tricky question to ask ourselves. If the answer is no, we often search for what we think will make us okay. Society nudges us to reach for our Smartphones, substances, an airline ticket, or a low-calorie option to fulfill our desire to be okay. We tend to consume or take action in hopes that it will make us feel content and satisfied. But the yoga tradition advises us differently. If we discover we are not okay, we must look inward to understand why. Looking inward may sound fluffy and ineffective. Instead, we may default to doing what we always have and run after things we deem pleasurable while doing whatever we can to avoid things that aggravate us. We might search for someone or something to blame for our unhappiness. If only things were different. Or we could call a friend and justify why our stories about our lives are the root cause of all our problems. But none of these things will bring us closer to lasting fulfillment.
We can not ski, drink, shop, eat, or Netflix binge our way to fulfillment. Inner contentment does not care about how cool we look, our numbers on the scale, our income bracket, or how fast we can run. No amount of external validation from our family, friends, or society will create inner peace. So why not try something different this year and take the advice of a timeless ancient practice? Let us listen to what the yogic system tells us is the ticket to living a fulfilling life and looking inward rather than outward.
Am I Okay?
We can begin this journey toward greater consciousness by asking ourselves, ‘Am I okay?’ whenever we notice we are distressed. Feelings of tension and heaviness serve as signals that we are not okay. In response, we must then ask ourselves, ‘Why?’ Chances are, we will discover that we have thoughts about how we think the world should behave—not just the world but also how we should behave and how every person on the planet should behave. The first step is to notice these thoughts and observe them without judgment. Get curious about them and discover where these ideas even came from. Observing our thoughts begins to loosen their grip on us. We start to realize we are not our thoughts. The next step is to understand that our state of okayness has nothing to do with our circumstances. Our quality of life depends on how we interpret the world. We may not be able to control the world, but we can control our thinking.
Here is an example of how I executed this self-inquiry exercise on Monday morning. I noticed I felt tightness in my chest, which helped me recognize I was feeling distressed.
Question: Am I okay?
Answer: No
Question: ‘Why?’
Answer: Because I received a summons for grand jury duty from January-March.
Question: What do you think about that?
Answer: I won’t be able to go to work and pay our bills if I have jury duty!
Question: How does that make you feel?
Answer: STRESSED
My brain wanted to blame my stress on jury duty. That’s okay. Examining my thought about jury duty allowed me to step back and observe my thinking separate from the circumstance. Slowly, I remembered that my circumstance did not cause my stress. It was my thoughts about this circumstance that created my inner turmoil. Realizing this fact released some of the tension I felt because I knew I could change what I thought about this situation if I wanted to. Sometimes, I pick a different thought to help me feel better. Other times, I choose to keep feeling distressed. Knowing I have this power makes me feel empowered rather than like a victim of my circumstances. I feel in control of my life despite everything I can’t control in my external environment. These things alone, makes me feel significantly better.
Because I wanted to feel okay, I decided to pick a different thought to create a higher quality emotion about my circumstance. I knew blaming my circumstance would only cause me to complain about it rather than be productive like I needed to be. So, I picked a believable thought to replace my old one. The next thing I knew, I was okay and could continue on with my day with a greater sense of calm and focus.
Circumstance: I received a summons for grand jury duty from January to March.
Question: What do you want to think about this?
Answer: I will figure it out.
Question: How does that make you feel?
Answer: Self-assured
Question: Am I okay?
Answer: Yes
2024 Challenge
I challenge us all to do this daily self-inquiry for the remainder of 2024 and experiment with how this simple act can lead to a higher quality year. We have more power over our lives than we think. There is no need to reach outside ourselves to feel better. We can be okay now.
Next week’s blog post will further explore this idea of increasing our level of consciousness and perhaps encourage us all to work within ourselves to achieve it.
