The Story of Meaning

“We only do three things in life: we sit, we stand, we lie horizontally. The rest is just a story.”– Byron Katie

One of the most life-altering lessons I have learned is that circumstances are neutral. Instead, the meaning we assign to those circumstances determine our results. 

My husband and I moved to Alaska, specifically for a job opportunity I had. This new position offered promises that would support the future Joe and I envisioned. I was overly enthusiastic to begin this new endeavor. Luckily, all worked out as planned. All except for the one day, I decided to change my thoughts about what my job meant to me. 

After being in this new position for about a year, the newness began to wear off. My job no longer meant opportunity, but rather that I was missing out on something else. I thought I should be doing something different with my time. This new meaning affected how I began to perform my job. It also affected my relationships with my clients and coworkers. I believe they all noticed that even though physically I was at work, mentally, I was in hell.

The End of Suffering

Now, the definition of suffering is “wanting something to be different, then it is.” The term for suffering in yogic philosophy, as well as in Hinduism and Buddhism, is referred to as “Duḥkha.” I think the word Duhkha is a lot more fun to say then suffering. But I digress. You can imagine how much Duhkha I was carrying to my job each day when I just kept thinking I should be doing something else with my time. Eventually, I reached a point when I knew something had to change. I either needed to quit my job and do something different OR figure out how to be content with my work.

I heard just the right thing at the right time to help me with my decision. The advice was never to leave a job unhappy because you would end up taking your brain with you to the next job. Then I would likely experience all the same problems in a different work setting. Instead, I needed to figure out the thoughts that were responsible for my suffering. It was pointless to blame my unhappiness on my job because it is never the circumstance that causes our feelings, but rather the meaning assigned to events that determine our emotions, actions, and results.

So I began to sit with my thoughts to figure out what they even were. Once I figured out the main culprit of my suffering, “I should be doing something different“- Then I began to practice replacing this thought with a new one. One I could believe. And I practiced this newly developed thought every time I noticed the one I no longer wanted.

Putting New Thoughts Into Practice

Developing a new thought may sound like an easy thing to do. But it can be extremely tedious and challenging considering we think some 60,000 thoughts per/day. My brain also had formed a pretty well-defined groove of this old thought, so it was much more comfortable and automatic to think then the new one I was attempting to acquire. It took awareness, a lot of practice, and dedication, but eventually, my job’s meaning began to change. All with one single thought. “I am spending my time exactly as I should be.”

It requires A LOT less effort to be negative. Our brains are biologically predisposed toward negative thinking for survival purposes. I am not perfect in thinking “positive” thoughts by any means. Changing my thoughts is a very challenging practice for me. The difference is that now I am much more aware of what it is I am thinking on days when I don’t want to be at work. Sometimes, the weather is nice outside, and I make it mean that I am missing out on vitamin D. Other days, I have a lot of things to catch up on, which I make mean I have a stressful day ahead. But the reasons I may not want to be at work have NOTHING to do with my job itself. My emotions are just a direct result of my thoughts. And the beautiful thing is I can choose to keep or change them to create the day at work I want.  

Giving Meaning To Your Life

Overall, I now feel more present at work. I genuinely believe that what I get to do each day is making a difference in others’ lives. I feel excited to implement new ideas and be a part of a team of amazing people who have similar visions, goals, and work ethics. Practicing my thoughts, DAILY has created more feelings of connection, contentment, motivation, and purpose. 

The meaning assigned to circumstances will also create your story. It will impact all that you do. For me, it is the difference between how I eat when I am eating for pleasure versus how I eat when I am eating to nourish my body. It is the difference in how I show up for work when I think I am missing out on a sunny day in Alaska, versus how I show up for my job when I make it mean I can influence positive change in the lives of others.

The marvelous thing about meaning is that it is subjective. You get to assign meaning to absolutely everything you do. What someone defines as “meaningful” may not at all be “meaningful” to you. And that is okay. There is no right or wrong meaning. It may be helpful to be sure your thoughts create the feelings, actions, and results you want. If not, change your thoughts until you get the results you want. 

Responsible Thinking

Now you no longer have to chase another circumstance for your happiness or blame others for your feelings. Instead, change your thinking. Sounds so painless and fabulous right? Unfortunately, changing a finely ingrained thought may be one of the hardest things you ever do. It is a DAILY practice. The good news is that this means you get all of your power back. You get to have control over your life regardless of the circumstance.

Before you can change your thinking, you must be aware of what these thoughts even are. You can increase your awareness using the practices of yoga. We will discuss awareness tools in future posts so you can begin to implement them and gain control over your thoughts and, therefore, your life. For now, consider the questions listed below.

Contemplation Points: 

So what do you give meaning to in your life?

Identify the meaning you have assigned to each of the things listed above. State both the positives and the negatives of each circumstance.

How does this meaning influence your actions?

Are you getting the results you want based on the meaning you have assigned to your life’s various circumstances?

If not, then what may need to change? 

Is there a new meaning you can assign to this circumstance to help you get the results you want?